this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
