I think I won the penis lottery.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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