she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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