And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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