Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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