I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
