Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
