Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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