I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
