UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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