u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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