i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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