i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I wanna passion pit in your ass
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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