Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
