i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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