Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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