She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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