Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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