Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
