Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
