Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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