Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
