she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
