I think I just saw someone hide a body.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize