Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
