Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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