My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
