didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
