he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize