His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
