whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
