New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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