we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
