turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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