Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize