just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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