i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
try to milk me bitch
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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