I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
