if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he shaved USA in his pubs
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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