i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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