Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
