The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
