maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
