i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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