Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
