I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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