accomplished twins. life is a go
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
