Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
