you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
cat food counts as protein by the way
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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