i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
