I want to make a zoo with you.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
