Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
