I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
