McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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