I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
