Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The best revenge is premature balding
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize