Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I need a beard to bite.
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