YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
