I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize