trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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