i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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